Friday, June 5, 2009
I'm a few year's into this Insomnia/Anxiety/Depression problem that seems to run in my side of the family. It's been a very hard road threw prescription to another to another till they find something that work's and is the right dose.
I don't even remember what all they have had me on to try that didn't work or the side effect's where too bad. I think now I'm at the point I get about 10 to 12 hours of sleep during the week, but when the weekend get's here I seem to just crash. Some of these med's make you have moods swing's like no other, and effect your short term memory a lot. I was on one that worked great and I was feeling pretty good about it and was getting enough rest, but it was very hard to get up in the morning and little thing's I wouldn't remember at all. I was like a walking zombie all last summer. Which I finally got sick of it, cause I was missing a lot of work and messing up a lot at work due to the one med. But it was working. The wife was getting pissed off cause if I was at home all I wanted to do was lay around.
I decided then I wasn't going to keep taking them. Which when they put you on these they start you out on a low dose and built up, but then going cold turkey off of them, does a number on you. I was completely off all them prescribed med's for about 4 month's, and did feel much better other than I would have anxiety attack's all the time. Anyone that has those I feel for you, they suck.
I don't think I really am suffering from the depression that seems to go along with anxiety, but as the attack's came on more and more often it was pretty obvious to the rest of the family that I needed something to help control them. So back to the doc I went. We really had to go threw my whole medical history to find what they had all tried. Some I could remember off the top of my head and why I couldn't take them.
This round so far is going on 3 or 4 month's now, and I think we've got a med for the anxiety but the problem is the dose. I'm suppose to take two a day. But then have been instructed to take one if I have an attack. Which if I have an attack taking one pill within a half an hour takes care of it, but the problem is I usually have to do this about 4 times a month, which throw's off the amount of pill's that I get from the prescription. And for some reason or another we haven't been able to get that threw our pharmacist's head. My doc has even talked to her telling her this med is ok for me to do this, then we just get back some insurance BS reason of why.
It's very frustrating and take a toll on a person. I think I was prompted to blog this just cause I'm going on zip for sleep and just can't sleep. Even though they have given me a pill for it.
I know there's a few others I know that have anxiety problem's and your not alone, it suck's and trying to find the right med can really be frustration for you and really take a toll on your body. Still most of society dismiss this as not a real problem and it's "all just in your head".
I do try to find things that relax me and find that help's keep my mind busy and have noticed I don't seem to have any problem's while doing those activity's. Going geocaching is one of those activity's that really work's. Going on a hike just seems to be relaxing. A major release for me is rock concert's. You get to go nut's for three hour's or so, and nobody is judging you, and you can just let loose. I find that really set's me for a good week or so. Plus this is just me, I find tattoo's relaxing. Yes planting them on me. Yeah it hurt's but I think that's part of it. And it's more of a stress relief.
Anyone reading this, just remember your not alone. And I wish you good luck. I'm am still thinking the "cure" is worse that the problem at least for me. Now if I could just get some good sleep for a few night's.